Hi Reader!
It is football season! Have you ever heard the phrase that "defense wins championships?" We'd like to take that and tell you that "defense loses relationships!"
What do we mean?
We’ve all been there—those moments when a conversation with your spouse turns defensive, and instead of getting closer, you just get pushed further away. But here's the good news: communication doesn’t have to feel this way! This week, we’re diving into how to break the cycle of defensiveness in your relationship.
What is Defensiveness?
Defensiveness often creeps in when we feel attacked or misunderstood. It’s that instinct to protect yourself by denying, blaming, or downplaying what your spouse is saying. You might deny that their concerns are valid or shift the blame onto them, saying things like, “Well, you didn’t do this either!” These reactions might feel justified in the moment, but they close off meaningful conversation.
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May my words and my thoughts be acceptable to you, O Lord, my refuge and my redeemer!
— Psalm 119:14
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Turning Things Around
Breaking the habit of defensiveness starts with awareness. When you feel yourself getting defensive, pause for a moment. Take a deep breath and check in with your emotions. Open, loving communication builds trust, while defensiveness erodes it.
Creating Space for Grace
Remember, marriage isn’t about being perfect; it’s about progress. You and your spouse are going to make mistakes—that’s normal. The key is giving each other grace and allowing room for growth. When things get tough, lean on prayer to guide your heart and mind. Inviting God into your conversations can bring the clarity and patience you need to communicate better.
Summary:
- Pause and Reflect: Take a moment to check your emotions before reacting.
- Speak with Truth and Love: Own your part and communicate with kindness.
- Allow Grace: Give each other space to grow, and lean on prayer to help navigate tough conversations.
Ready to take action? Start today by inviting God into your conversations, planning what you want to say, and working on better communication every day. Your relationship is worth it!
🙏🏼 We believe the best is ahead for you!
Want more? Watch the Episode!
In expectation,
